He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
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