that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
