this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
