I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
And the cops told us we were all naked.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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