my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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