apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
