so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
