ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
You are a genius and a whore.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
