do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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