It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
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