why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
