Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
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