so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
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