What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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