so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
