I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
