Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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