porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
