I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Randomize
