Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
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