My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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