Will you blow on my dice?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
