He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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