Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
