Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
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