What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
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