You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
party gras won. party gras always wins.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
