Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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