We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize