Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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