it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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