Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
