I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
