would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Randomize
