I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
