im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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