Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
