Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
