Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
