The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I could fuck to npr.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
