Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I will die if light touches me.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
