wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
Randomize
