yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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