WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
