I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
