I'm jealous of your bromance
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize