So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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