Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
