So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
