I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
