you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Bring me that man meat
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
