i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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