yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
