It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
