People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
