When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
