Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
Randomize