Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Church boner. Awkwardddd
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
