I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
