its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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