His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
