Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
