Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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