sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
