i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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