Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
