Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
