I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Randomize
