Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize