After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
