Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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