Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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